Another Ghostbusters Cereal Box

 

Yes boys and girls, it's another Ghostbusters cereal box!

I've previously written about one of the handful of boxes in my collection, to which I likened the cereal to the taste of a dead squirrel's rectum.

I think it's pretty accurate, really.

Seeing as it would be far to hard by the standards of any decade to market "Dead Squirrel Ass" cereal, Ralston-Purina had to slap something wildly popular on the box to sell it.

What better way to get children of the 80's hooked on dead squirrel ass than to include marshmallows and slap a Ghostbusters logo on it?

Overnight, Ralston-Purina had a hit on their hands. They knew just how to draw in us 80's kids. There was no way on Earth that we weren't going to beg our parents for it. Who cares if it tasted terrible? It had a freakin' Ghostbusters logo on it for heaven's sake.

In the 80's and 90's, childhood life was all about image, If you had something that somebody else didn't, and somebody deemed it "cool" you were the man, for a day at least.

If you were late to the party, and jumped on the bandwagon last minute (or it took forever for your parents to buy you the thing that made you cool) you were just trying to fit in.

Perhaps you avoided the things that were trendy and marched to your own drum.

No matter what, you weren't you without your favorite breakfast cereal.

in the 80's, breakfast cereals were made for anything and everything. Fly by night cartoons and long running staples of pop culture.

If you could dream it, you could eat it.

Naturally it made perfect sense for there to be a Ghostbusters cereal.

The particular box, while not of the usual Hologram variety, is amazing in it's own way.

Adorned with a giant no-ghost logo on the front, meant to catch the eye of screaming kindergartners everywhere, the cereal offered something more on the box.

While children of today's world only know "Cereal prizes" to be some long ago ancient myth, us 80's kids really had them. We had prizes galore, and some of the best giveaways known to man.

One of those giveaways allowed us normal everyday kids to "Be A Ghostbuster"

Screaming at your mom and dad to spend $1.75 to buy the cereal wasn't enough.

Now you had to be extra volatile and squeeze another $1.50 out of them.

Even by 1980's standards, $1.50 wasn't some huge amount of money that if spent would relegate you to eating peanut butter sandwiches for a week. And for the money being spent, you sure got a nice haul to show for it.

Before I get to what $1.50 got ya, I have to laugh at the picture on the back of the box.

These kids were so excited to get their Ghostbusters package in the mail, that they rushed into the bedroom, pajamas and all, turned off the light, and busted out flashlights to view the contents.

I think next month when I get my electric bill, Ill do the same thing.

All about reliving the excitement of a better time.

If you've made it this far, you were a spoiled little shit.

Not only did you get your parents to spend $1.75 on a box of dead squirrel anus flavored cereal (with marshmallows!) but you also convinced them that they loved you enough to send an additional $1.50 for a pile of crap you would likely lose within a week.

God, you had it good, didn't you?

For $1.50 plus the proof of purchase from the box, you would receive:

an 11x14" Ghostbusters poster

1 Glow-in-the-dark door sign

1 glow-in-the-dark light switch cover

2 sheets of Ghostbusters stickers

A Ghostbusters button

and an official Ghostbusters Membership Certificate

Man, Ralston-Purina was really making up for the poop flavored cereal weren't they?

I actually think I have a couple of the things that were given away on the box.

I'll have to do some digging in the Mr. Ghostbuster Headquarters, but when I find them, I'm going to lay them out on the bed and shine a flashlight on them.

Don't bother me.

Real Ghostbusters Tent!

One of my all time favorite Ghostbusters items from my childhood.

When I was little, my parents bought me the Real Ghostbusters play tent. It wasn't a must have item by any means, but it sure did add something nice to your Ghostbusters collection.

This was seriously where you could find me on most days,. Hiding out in here playing with my Ghostbusters toys. What can I say, my whole life revolved around it. It still does, with the exception of way too much grown up crap mixed in.

This tent, if not kept on the floor, sat on top of my bed, where I slept inside of it nearly every night, while trying to avoid our evil cat that would try to claw my feet.

I'm sure Kitty Joe is long dead now. I think we just left him there when we moved to a bigger town.

I miss Kitty Joe. The little dickhead that he was.

My biggest gripe about the tent, even when I was 4, was that Winston was not on there. I was pissed. How could you possibly be okay sleeping inside of a Ghostbusters tent that wasn't protected by all four boys in grey?

Poor Winston got let off of all kinds of stuff.

When the opportunity to score this on Ebay for way too much money came up earlier in the year, I could not pass it up.

Sure it takes up way too much room and serves zero purpose now, but one look at it, and the memories flood back so thick that you have to brush them away.

The basic answer to the question that you are most likely to ask is NO I haven't slept in it. I can barely crawl inside it and be able to get up off of the floor. That shit hurts!

The tent, after all these years, still has lots of bright color on it to illuminate faded memories of long ago.

While I'm not a fan of Ray's face, Slimer at least appears to be pretty chill. As chill as Slimer can be anyway.

I'll never fully understand how a group of men, whose company slogan is "We aint afraid of no ghost" always seems to have the biggest look of fright on their faces nearly every time they are immortalized in merchandise form.

Stupid, I know, but I had to at least complain about something.

I like to think of the tent as our "Guest Bedroom" even though it really only functions as an eye sore that my current cat hides out in.

This Thursday has been deemed "National Ghostbusters Day" by Sony Pictures. To celebrate, there will be an article about me in the local news paper featuring my collection.

I'll post up the link here and on Facebook sometime on Thursday.

Kenner RGB Firehouse Headquarters

This is a big one for me.

Let's take a little trip back to 1989. I would tell you to close your eyes, but then you wouldn't be able to read any of this. Then again, I'm not too terribly sure that anybody does anyways.

It's quite possibly fall of 1989. We were living in a small town in Nebraska, which we would soon escape with a move to the capital city, which isn't any better. Think of it as just a bigger trailer trash population.;

We take a visit to the "big town" for reasons that I honestly do not recall. I'm pretty positive that we had lunch at Burger King because our crappy little town didn't have one yet at that point.

After our lunch that may or may not have happened at Burger King, we stopped into Target, which our crappy town also didn't have!

As we browsed the toy aisles, looking at glorious 80's toy after 80's toy on the pegs, we rounded a corner and on an end cap was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my entire life.

Yes, a Ghostbusters Firehouse playset.

I begged. I begged HARD.

Surely my parents would just go ahead and snatch that shit up and throw it in the cart, right?

Yeah, no such luck.

I had no real grasp of what money even was, other than the change I had in my piggy bank. I didn't even know what it was used for, other than making a wonderful clanking noise that surely annoyed anybody that came within 14 miles of our house.

With no luck of the "Get Mr. Ghostbuster a Firehouse" front, I begrudgingly settled for a Power Pack Heroes Louis Tully figure. I suppose now I could at least say I left with something Ghostbusters, but at this point, once you have seen the holy grail, trinkets don't hold much appeal.

Christmas approached. It approached faster than I could have ever imagined it would, but I was also 4, and had no concept of time either.

We had made our visit to see Santa Claus, where I was quick to let the fat bastard know that a Ghostbusters Firehouse was the ONLY thing that could possibly make Christmas right for me that year. Mario pajamas were not in my wheelhouse, Lego blocks wouldn't do, and TMNT stuff would only lead to larger Ghostbusters cravings. And let's be honest, it was 1989, the last year in the best pop culture decade known to man. How could I say goodbye to the greatest decade in the history of the world if I had homeless Ghostbusters figures?

Christmas morning soon arrived. There just HAD to be a Ghostbusters Firehouse in there for me somewhere. This was going to be my big day, the day that my Ghostbusters figures would move in to their new home and establish a permanent residence while operating the greatest business in the entire world!

Present after present was opened. Mario pajamas, Lego blocks, TMNT stuff, all there and accounted for. Finally, after all was said and done, and the magic of presents under the tree wore off, I looked around and said, "well, I guess no Ghostbusters Firehouse for me this time..." to which my Dad replied, "Santa must have run out of them."

No, truth be told, Santa's elves didn't work hard enough to fulfill my wish list. Had they not taken so many smoke and coffee breaks, they could have easily boxed up a Firehouse and had it delivered while I slept on December 24th, 1989.

What seemed like an eternity later, I finally got one. I'm not sure how long it was after Christmas, but I got it. At least good ol' Dad made it right where Santa had brutally screwed me over.

All these years later, I still give them shit about not getting one for Christmas that year. Mom could never remember why I didn't get one, but Dad says it's because nobody had any. Apparently they were a pretty hot item that year, which matches up to the story I was told by the guy I bought my can of Ecto-Plasm from. He said his mother drove all the way down to Missouri on Christmas Eve of that year to get him one.

Sir, you made out better than me.

Memories aside, this really is an awesome toy.

The front of the firehouse let's us all no that this is unmistakably the Ghostbusters headquarters. The color scheme is quite different from the movie and cartoon series, but overall not terrible. It does a nice job of fitting in well with the rest of the toy line.

The big red doors both open up and have just enough room to house the Ecto-1 if and only if you remove the seat on the top of the car, otherwise it's too tall to fit inside.

The inside bugs me a little bit, and keep in mind, this is my OCD coming out.

Okay, main level, enough room for the Ecto-1 sans chair on top. Awesome. But the real question is, how in the world are the Ghostbusters supposed to get up to the second and third floors? Should they just magically sprout a set of wings and learn to fly up?

This has always been the big thing that bothered me about the Firehouse. Sure, it's a toy, it doesn't have to make sense at all, that is where the imagination of a child comes in, but for the lover of everything good, why could Kenner not put in a simple little stair case to shut people like me up?

One neat thing though is the pole. You simply put your figures on it via the pegs that fit into the bottom of their feet and watch them spin down on the red platform, just be careful when they finally land, and there is no way in hell that they wouldn't be spewing chunks everywhere.

The Firehouse also came with a can of Ecto-Plazm, which could be poured into the grate on top of the building and onto a figure. Never really got to try that feature since my parents were beyond anal about that shit getting into the carpet. So we'll just pretend I did, and it rocked.

Kenner also did us a big time solid and gave us the Containment Unit to go along with the Firehouse. My only issue, again nerdy OCD, is that you couldn't really store it inside on the building, and there was no basement, so it basically had to sit outside of the Firehouse while you created your own ghost-busting adventures.

Again,. not a big deal, I'm just cranky.

The top portion of the Containment Unit let you put in a ghost figure that would have been packed in with one of your Ghostbusters. Most of them fit well in there, but some did not at all. If you aim for anything from the first series to the Fright Features series, you're sitting pretty good.

Once your ghost was inserted, you slide the top portion over and it deposits the spook into his permanent home in ghost world.

Pretty simple, but there is too much awesome not to mention.

All in all, the Real Ghostbusters Firehouse playset was a good one. Not really anything to break on it other than the front doors, and not a millions small parts and pieces to lose.

Simple, yet effective.

Marshmallow Mess Ray Stantz!

For everything Matty Collector did wrong with the Ghostbusters figures, Big Lots did something right.

About a year ago they caused a massive ruckus when they began selling off some of Matty's overstock of Ghostbusters. It started with the 12 inch doll sets from GB2 and spilled over into the 6 inch figures.

In order to keep the Ghostbusters at my local Big Lots safe from Ebay dealers, I bought up every single one I could find. Does that make me a douche? Couldn't care less. I cherish each and every single one of them that I have.

And if you really needed to know, I have 11 of these Marshmallow Mess Ray figures.

Big Lots got their shipment in shortly before Christmas of last year. 11 of them to be exact.

I rushed in and bought a few, all while strategically hiding the rest of them. I mean, come on, this was on super secret lockdown that they even had these, I couldn't let Ebay scalpers get ahold of them.

Little by little, I ended up with 10 of them.

 One night my best friend got ahold of me and was really excited. He had gone to Big Lots and found the only Marshmallow Mess Ray in stock. I must have left one behind. He bought it thinking that he had come across some type of rare sunken treaure, akin to the Shankara Stones in the Temple of Doom.

Yeah, he was a little disappointed when he found out that I had already bought the other 10, but hey, at least he found me the 11th!

Grown men like me who have a 12 year old's brain would probably be quick to dub the figure Bukkake Ray, because, well, it's obvious.

Gangbang Marshmallow Mess Ray comes equipped with only the finest of ghost busting equipment such as his proton pack (with a beam that glows in the dark!), Ecto-Goggles, and walkie talkie.

While some rip on the Matty Collector figures, I can't say that I hate them. They certainly did a great job capturing the likeness of Dan Aykroyd. There have been worse attempts.

And, of course, who could forget that Ray is covered in melted marshmallow goop?

Ray also comes with a no-ghost logo display base, which, in a nice touch of detail, is also covered in spunk marshmallow goop.

And of course, the back of the card has the ridiculous profile on Dr. Raymond Stantz. I'm not even sure the Ghostbusters would keep profiles of their employess, especially one of the owners. Weird, but whatever I guess.

Again, don't get me wrong, there were dozens of things I disliked about the Matty Ghostbusters, mainly the way sales were handled and the way items were priced, but luckily for us real fans that didn't want to just take one for the team, Big Lots was able to offer our wallets a little bit of relief, even if my local Big Lots employees are dicks.

Kenner RGB Neutrona Blaster!!

Kenner's Real Ghostbusters Neutrona Blaster was among the sillier, less practical pieces of ghost catching equipment.

The premise of the toy is that it was a big, awkward neutrona wand that was powered by turning a knob over and over and over..........

And over and over and over.....you get the point.

On the other end of all the knob turning, a bright green chunk of foam that flops around  more than a double sided dildo spins out of control in a giant circle.

I suppose the folks at Kenner thought it would be a wonderful idea to wiggle the shit out of a ghost.

Let's totally rethink the concept of the toy shall we?

Sure, we can make all of the wiggle the shit out of a ghost theories all we want, but perhaps it's actually a very smart and super practical piece of equipment.

Let's say that you're on a call and your Proton Pack ceases to function. You're practically screwed. There is no way now that you will ever be able to trap that class 5.

Suddenly you remember that you have that new, experimental piece of equipment in the Ectomobile. One that requires no charge and runs solely by a hand crank.

It's a stretch, but it just might save your neck this time.

You run and grab the Neutrona Blaster, crank the shit out of it, catch the ghost in your dildo beam, mae it super dizzy by spinning it around in a giant circle over and over again, and throw out the trap, as it drunkenly falls right in. 

Or, you could just wiggle the shit out of it with your bright green dildo.

FEARSOME FLUSH!!!

Fearsome Flush was awesome in the fact that he was a stand alone toy. 

Unlike the Gooper Ghosts or Haunted Humans, Fearsome Flush was just kind of by himself. Sure, there were others that weren't attached to a particular series. It was almost like an "every ghost for itself" kind of thing. Ghosts that were a little to scary or gruesome to be bundled in with others only to get lost in the shuffle.

Fearsome flush had that special kind of scary to him.

Fearsome Flush always had his own special spot in my Ghostbuster's Firehouse play set. I typically would keep him on the second floor. My reasoning for that was that the main floor was a little too crowded with Ecto-1 (unless of course it was parked outside) and third floor was just a little too far to make it if you really had to pinch a loaf.

Naturally, he had to be kept inside of the Firehouse. I mean, after all, he did have the Ghostbusters logo emblazoned on his seat, right?

 I can't imagine little Johnny down on 10th Street having his very own Ghostbusters toilet.

The concept of the toy is fairly simple.

 Let's use Louis as our test subject, since he is rather small and defenseless. 

Louis has had a long day of doing taxes, pretending to be a Ghostbusters, and hitting on Janine.

 He has been so busy that he forgot to make a bowel movement after lunch, which is a typical thing for him to do.

 Louis likes to run on a schedule.

Little does Louis know, something got out of the Containment Unit and possessed the crapper. 

It doesn't just want your feces, it wants your blood, and will stop at nothing to get it.

Normally, the feature on Fearsome Flush would be activated simply by rolling it, but for purposes of killing Louis, it wasn't

No action figures were harmed in the making of this post.

Ghostbusters Cereal Box!

I should probably start this one off by letting you know that this is going to be one of many posts where we look at old Ghostbusters cereal boxes. This just happens to be the one that was easiest to pull off of the shelf without knocking 200 other things over.

Now, on to what we came here for.

You remember Ghostbusters cereal, right? If not, watch this wonderful commercial and we'll talk afterwards. Don't worry, I can wait.....

Okie dokie, now that we've either been refreshed, or newly introduced to the cereal thanks to the magic of Youtube, let's have a serious talk for a moment.

The cereal itself tasted like butt. While I cannot pinpoint exactly what kind of butt it tasted like, I would imagine it would compare to that of a dead Squirrel.

The downfall of the no ghost logo shaped pieces was overshadowed only slightly by the marshmallows. Marshmallows can seem to help anything taste okay, even dead Squirrel ass. However, from the depths of my memory, which has been clouded by lots and lots of beer, the marshmallows always seemed to be a little on the stale side, but hey, what can you really expect from a company that makes dog food?

Now that I have told you the product inside of the box all but sucked, let's look at the box itself, because it absolutely makes up for the bad taste of everything inside.

One of the ever so popular features on select boxes were the holograms on the front.

 Not all boxes were made this way, so when Ralston-Purina cranked these bad boys out, kids knew they had to be special enough to make mom and dad spend $3 or $4 on it. And believe me, fighting with parents while trying to convince them to pick up a box of breakfast sugar can be one of the most daunting tasks that a child of any age can possibly undertake.

This box features a hologram of resident slob Slimer munching the shit out of the cereal. I mean, if Slimer was down to eat it, we could at least give it a shot, right?

On the back of the box, which to this day is an important place to put advertising and further make any child scream and cry until they get something (as if buying the cereal wasn't enough) we are given an offer for a Real Ghostbusters VHS tape. 

This actually isn't half bad. This might even be borderline genius. What could make life better than eating a Ghostbusters themed cereal while watching The Real Ghostbusters? Perhaps a side of Ecto-Cooler, but that may be overkill, or maybe not enough.

By the way, notice how the family is gathered around, as if staring into a treasure chest discovering a Real Ghostbusters VHS tape. I mean, I'd be cool with that over a box full of gold.

Nutrition Facts are without a doubt the most boring part of any edible product. Nobody in their right mind really wants to know that they are putting total garbage into their body which will surely lead them to a future of diabetes and heart failure, so Ralston-Purina decided to jazz things up a little and put Slimer down at the bottom, chewing away at the information as if to give a big, "Kiss my ass" to the FDA. 

Slimer, you rebel.

Lastly, the proof of purchase. How can you not fall in love with something as simple as a proof of purchase when it's in the form of the no-ghost logo?

Again, I say that while the product inside was typically less than wonderful, Ralston-Purina went well out of their way to make the box as awesome as it could possibly be, because everybody knows that when you are sitting at the table, eating Ghostbusters cereal, you probably want to stare at the box as if it's an artifact that only a few will ever lay claim to having seen.